Christmas Food

A chicken inside a duck inside a turkey. Now if they can make that I'm sure I could do a nice pork-salmon.

Worms

That's the last thing you need. Tapeworms.

Starbucks

Venti is Italian. Grande means big, in Spanish. And then 'tall' is American. It just doesn't make any sense!

Halloween Costume

I'm gonna be Samuel L. Jackson. And when people guess who I am, I'll say 'You're just guessin that cause I'm black.'

Chilly

I've got some thermals? They're clean.

Surveillance Cameras

I bet you can't even sit down and enjoy a potato salad sandwich without somebody seein.

College Track

I hated sprinters. They thought they were the best thing since sliced cheese.