Magic Mice

He broke a mouse. That sounds just like bustin' a cap!

New Hair

You look distinguished. Like you own your own company, or a boat.

Candy

Looks like Walmart hid all their nerds.

Shotgun Spud

Shotgun Spud--that sounds like a relative.

Dry Erase Markers

Andrew: Hey Ray, do you know where I can find a wet erase marker?

Ray: (GASP!) No, but I know where I can find a dry one, and I'll wet it for you.

Due Tomorrow

Don't worry. I won't keep my cows out all night.

Ray Moore International Golf Course

The 5th Floor

"Afterhours, sometimes when no one's around, i go upstairs and smoke a hoagie."

Waiting for an upload

"Hold your beans. It's comin'."

DMP Review

"I'd clean that pig up and take it to the fair."

At 7-11

"I think I'm going to do a wieny today. And let's drop the bun and do a naked wieny."

Pen Names

"So I said to myself, 'Self,' you should bring a jacket."
"Do you have any other names for yourself besides 'self'?
"You mean like China Smith?"

Those Jobs

"It's OK Chris, I can take it. I've got other pancakes on the fryer."

Llamas

"Tyler, do giraffes spit?"
"Camels."
"No, they don't spit camels."

Scandalous

You wouldn't believe what those bunnies will do in the street before 6 a.m.

Big Presentation

Good luck, Kristi! Knock yourself off!

Dangerous in France

If we go to Paris, we all need to be packin.

The Other Side of the Office

I asked David how he likes it down at the Other End. But don't worry I told him we're just friends.

Menudo

You can stuff anything in a tripe. That is if the mouth is big enough.

Web Ads

Web ads are like warts. The kind you can't even put stuff on.

Slasher

Well let me know when you start slashin tires. I'll have a smile on my face 'till then.

Slap Me Around

You have official permission to slap me around if I get too busy. Not everyone gets that license.