Jay Walking

I'm not worried. Do you know what happens if you hit a black man in Colorado Springs?!

Advice for the Next Generation

Learn from the past. Otherwise, omigoodness.

Lights Out

Don't worry. I'll smile so we can see where you're goin'.

Map of South America

Would you look at the legs on Argentina!

Foosball

James: "You've got the white balls on your side, Ray."

Ray: "Well, technically, no. But I'll leave that one alone."

Soup

It's got lumps as big as your head.

Tupperware, Take 3

Tupperware, Take 2

I gave you all the good stuff. Matching lids and everything. Some people go their whole lives without matching lids.

Tupperware

You could fit a whole chinchilla in there.

Fruity

You look like a man who could use a kumquat.